Find Your Focus
We can have all the goals planned out to the T and God is like “nah, you have to follow my lead.” - Ciera
Sings *I don’t wanna be therapist no more*
Coming out of grad school, I had a very different idea of what direction I wanted to go in, but things didn’t work out that way. I realized that the traditional path of graduating, passing the national exam, receiving a license, and operating in private practice or within another organization, just might not be the route for me. Reality is, there’s a lot of things behind the scenes that aren’t taught in school, and that many people don’t discuss. The stress of prepping and passing the licensure exam, the bull shit salaries that companies offer, or the restrictions within the field due to ethics and guidelines that are to be followed, although they were not created for people who look like me.
I had to be 100% transparent and ask myself,” What is the overall goal and is there another way I can get there?”
Now, to be honest, it not always easy for me to be flexible with the SHIFTs that may occur in my life. Can you relate?
How many times have you wanted to give up after things didn’t work out the way you planned? How many times has one door closed, and you were just ready to throw in the towel because you didn’t know how to pivot? The reality is, operating in a strong faith is challenging. We can have all the goals planned out to the T and God is like “nah, you have to follow my lead.”
This is where you enter the season of Finding Your Focus. When all you hear and believe is what the world has told you to the be “right” way, you get caught in the cycle of only focusing on what is deemed acceptable versus finding your own way.
As I am helping myself, I want to help you to. Here’s 3 ways for you to begin to Find Your Focus:
1. Operate in an Authentic Space
When you find yourself following traditions that don’t necessarily allow you to operate as your authentic self, considering shifting. You want to make sure you have the space to be who you are while getting to the goal. Who you are as you are is ENOUGH, and somebody out there needs you just as you are today.
2. Define your Strength’s and Weakness (growth Areas)
You can’t find your focus if you don’t have a concept of who you are at the core. Being able to understand your strengths and weakness will allow you to become more self-aware of yourself which then helps you to create your life aesthetics. Refer to page 12 in the Your Life Aesthetics workbook which has a worksheet called UNDERSTANDING YOU. --- Click Here to Download it for Free
3. Understand the Power in Creating Your Life Aesthetics
The life you desire to live, is attainable. The goals that you have, are achievable. The things that you want, you deserve them, but you must understand your power, FIRST. Life is not to be lived according to other people’s standards. It is not about sitting around WAITING for shit to happen, it’s about making it happen. Creating Your Life Aesthetics means you are becoming whole, operating from a healing place, and walking in who you are at the core and who you have a desire to be.
The journey to finding your focus is NOT an easy one, and you will face challenges, but end the end its worth it all.
I’m right here on the journey with you. I am letting go of the traditional way therapy looks and how I can help people heal, all while being my dope authentic self. It’s time for me to understand and walk in my purpose of taking the conversation Beyond the White Couch™.
I want find your focus and discover your purpose.! Let’s take this journey together. Grab a copy of Your Life Aesthetics, and lets create the life you desire and deserve.
The school year has already started for some, and it’s just around the corner for others. As a
mom, the feeling of being overwhelmed for ourselves and our children can be a lot. While we’re struggling with determining our new back to school routine, we are also dealing with ways to handle a rollercoaster of emotions, the possibility of COVID outbreaks AGAIN, the security of the school system, and so much more.
On top of ALL of that, our children are worried about if they’ll be put in classes with their friends, impressing or loving their new teachers, anxious about a new grade level and making good grades and most of all, making sure are liked and fit in.
I have two elementary-age students who have previously been diagnosed with mental health
conditions. One of my daughters is dealing with anxiety while my other daughter is learning how to learn with ADHD. At the same time, I’m learning how to make their school year successful academically and behaviorally, all while balancing the million and one other things.
As a Mental Health Professional, I could offer a bunch of BS and a list of things, but let’s be
honest, life isn’t perfect, and neither are we. We’re not overworking or overwhelming ourselves this year. We’re going to be INTENTIONAL in how we prioritize and find balance.
Here’s 5 thing you need to intentionally do:
1.Make sure you’re taking time for yourself.
Being a parent is hard as hell, whether you’re alone or have a partner. Too many times you continue to pour from an empty cup, but you need to make sure you are putting yourself FIRST and getting a refill OFTEN. (cues Refill by Elle Varner)
2. Create a Routine.
Having an established routine is beneficial not only for you but also for your kids. It will allow
you to plan and make sure y’all are on the same page.
3.Be Aware of the Changes in Your Kids.
Going back to school can be hard on your kids. Anxiety is normal and can show up in a variety of ways when kids return back to school. Watch their behavior, have open and honest discussions and be prepared to listen.
4. Learn when to say No.
As Moms, we often overcommit to things even when it doesn’t involve our children. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and deserve to have space to say no without feeling guilty. Remember, NO is a complete sentence.
Perfection is overrated. You will hit some bumps in the road and there will be moments where you need to just scream or cry, and that is ok. Know that you are putting your best foot forward, and that is enough.
As you navigate the new school year, don’t forget to extend yourself the same grace that you often extend to others, and just in case you haven’t heard It from anyone else today, you are DOPE PERIOD.
If you are a parent, teacher, mentor, school administration, non profit leader, or anyone who connected to children, this article is for you. Understand that as an adult, you have a role and responsibility to not only do your job in your respective role, but to also be an advocate and a solution to the problem.
According to Mental Health American, over 2.5 million youth in the U.S. have severe depression, and over 60% of youth with major depression do not receive any mental health treatment. These numbers are beyond me, and makes a clear indication of the work that needs to be done as it relates to understanding the needs of youth and their mental health.
If you are not sure where to start, here are some way you can actively help prioritize youth and their mental health:
1. Have Open Dialogue - Communication is essential. Don’t let “how was your day” be the only way you talk to them. They can’t know how to express themselves, if that is not being taught. Emotions aren’t biased. They show up in the youngest and the oldest. They need the tools, and communication helps them acquire those tools.
2. Be Present- Understand your presence is extremely valuable. Being aware of unfamiliar behaviors or mood changes, needs, etc. allows you to be more in tuned when things are possibly not ok. Being present also allows you to build a solid and genuine relationship to know who they really are.
3. Your Way Ain’t the Only Way – Being critical, or judgmental only creates more issues. Be open to the fact that your way may not be best way, or may not serve each person the same. Your openness promotes and create safety.
4. Solving the Problem is Not Always Necessary – Often times it’s not about finding the solution to the problem they may be facing. It can be something as simple as just expressing you care they had a bad day or that they are stressed about a test. Or their feelings were hurt by something someone said. Remember to be supportive NOT dismissive and solution driven.
5. Get Help - Therapy for Youth/Mental Health Services are ok, and IT WORKS! Sometimes youth don’t have the space to be vulnerable with people they know. Youth who have issues MUST feel comfortable before they open up. Understand that some things you may not even think impacts them, really does. Providing additional resources and advocating for youth doesn’t mean you can’t’ do your job, it means you don’t have to take on something you are not an expert in.
This type of dialogue is needed and very necessary. As a mental health professional, I had committed myself to helping to normalize the conversation about mental health and helping others get the help and resources they need.
Through Recycled Energy, we offer consulting, training, individual and group services that cater to the very things listed in this article. If you are looking to take the next step or are unsure which steps to take, contact me to learn more.